Before I get to the journey, I need to set the picture for the offering to a tree that I have known and loved for lo, these 2-3 years. It’s a tree I developed a relationship with on my own before I started taking an herbalism class. She’s a delightful willow tree that resides near the Hudson River in Riverfront Park. And she has been a wonderful teacher, very patient and kind. I was directed to meet her from a tree in Vermont near Rochester.
I had been going by my willow friend and sitting under her branches for these years, and getting insights into various issues. She calms me down, which isn’t surprising for the tree that is the source of aspirin. (Salicylic Acid comes from the Latin “salix” for willow.) And I feel a pang of sadness for what I’m about to share, for I was given a direction before I left my job to return and sit with her for 2 weeks straight for an hour a day. I started to do this during a time when I was sick, and I just couldn’t hack it. Then I had things that I needed to schedule, etc.
Today, when I start to feel more invigorated, I went by the park and found that part of my tree friend had collapsed. The tree grew from a base into five smaller sub-trunks. 3 of them fell over. It looked like it was tree rot that was helped along by some high winds we had over the past few days. A homeless person or persons were living unde her branches as well. While I doubt that they had anything to do with it, I know trees have an absorptive aspect, and I felt sad that perhaps the people’s depressed energies inadvertantly added to that energy of instability.
I brought my offering of carrots, which had intuitively come to me, and I scattered them around the base anyway. I held parts of the limbs in my hands and communicated my sadness. The 2 remaining subtrunks seemed giddy–they had been living with this condition for a while it seemed. I was oblivious to it seeing as I was in a depressed state too. Come to think of it, I probably added to my friend’s woes as well. Trees are so wonderful. Yet they’re fragile in ways we only realize later, I guess.
I broke off a branch from my friend that is about wand length as a reminder and keepsake of all her lessons. I brandished it in my right hand, the hand of power and felt a surge within me. Bittersweet, to say the least. I wonder if my offering will have any salving effect on a tree that is itself a grand healer.
FYI, I started this post about 2 weeks prior to my actual posting of this–lots of emotional stuff emerging and being released. The time of year, coupled with all of the prior grieving and the grief remaining all have conspired to pull me into myself a bit. Apologies.
Onward to a journey I did on December 1, 2010.
I am in a clearing. The pines. Full moon. Cold chilly night. Some clouds, but some stars too. A shining of a light from above – soft and shimmering, blues, pinks, purples, glittery sparks every once in awhile. The rays penetrate me as I walk into the cloud formation. I feel like I’m on a bicycle that I have to peddle in order to stay where I am. If I don’t keep the motion going, I lose my balance. (Peddle or pedal?) It also feels like I’m on the sea, like I’m in a pedalboat rather than the bicycle I originally thought. I have handlebars and a bicycle seat still, though. I feel now that I must depart this vehicle, so I get off. I decide to head in the direction of the pines, but I feel again, no. Something else needs to come first. I’m immobilized. Have to turn back to the boat/bike vehicle. I say “Thank yo.” My heart melts and dilates. A green ray shoots out of it. More green rays and purple and pale blue. The rays emerge circularly from a point and remind me of a faceted cut crystal in a conic shape. A cone of faceteed light radiates from my heart.
I sense somehow this is nettle energy – I took an infusion of it earlier today. It’s healing my spirit and eroding some of the more brittle and obnoxious aspects of my ego, which is taken aback as if to say “This? Really? This is to be dispelled? Are you sure?” The rays cease, but I still feel the glow and aftereffecgts, a homey warmth. The scene has shifted and I’m conscious that I’m standing on a dock. The bike/boat is now definitely a boat, and I reluectantly get into it. My destination has been corrected. I step onto the boat’s deck and it glides effortlessly into the water. The sun – is it setting or rising? Seems the former. I was in the dark before the cloudy mist, but here feels like eternal sunset land. There is no other time of day here than the twilight of sunset. Am I heading to the Faery city of the West? The boat takes me deeper into a mist which has now formed with a golden-orange glow. Opalescent. I breathe in that energy–feels invigorating, as though I’m breathing in a miniature version of the sun. I feel I’m being “solarized.” I am a walking sun, a mini-Ra as it were.
“This feels great. Thank you. What shall I use this for?” the question emerges.
A song that introduced this journey comes to me and it sings me. I see a certain celebrity (a British rockstar) stop and regard my presence. He doesn’t see me, but he senses someone is near. I sing the song to him. He nods his head, still not seeing me though he’s now looking right at me. The sun I’ve become obscures my visage in its radiance. It envelops him as well, he involuntarily smiles. Then I feel myself suddenly rise up. I’m eye level now with the tallest pines, then slightly above them. I feel myself flattening out prone over the pines, hovering over them with my arms and legs outstretched. I look down at their bristly tops, like Superman! I feel their love wafting up and caressing me.
My being expands and settles over the entire stand of pine trees in this part of a Western forest. My solarized self embeds into each one of these trees, as if I’ve become a part of their woody beings. I am a tripartite ally – wild, human, divine. Our essences recognize each other and we sigh together at the resonance. I feel the mist start to fade away and the original night with full moon, stars and clouds returns.
I settle down below the canopy, toward the ground, ammongs the bed of pine needles that have gathered and softened. I feel an invitation to lie down and close my eyes. In that place, I “see” the sunlight in all our bodies, radiating and circulating brilliant light. I sense irregularities in individual trees as well as in my own body. Conscious of heat in my legs and in my belly. Feelings needing release.
I sense that bats have showed up to guard and protect, but also that I have drawn other curious animals. Owl, otter, stork, black panther, ants. Bystanders, neither hostile nor friendly–witnessing. They will disperse. The bats spread their wings and hiss if one of these gets too close, though the otter decides he needs to play with Die Fledermauese. A wolf is prowling about nearby, a second level of protection. Further afield, I sense another animal who shields itself in mystery, wandering a rocky landscape. Solar and Pine and richard/Frostwolf energies all interpenetrate and form new patterns.
One word blazes into my consciousness and adheres: “Abundance.”
This feels like it’s the end. Bats surround me and they push my body deeper into the needles. I fall through them back into the body that has redcorded this journey. The easy chair, the window, the rain afternoon outsdie. I’m back in this reality.